Well, I’m three months into my six-month allotment of
unemployment. Didn’t think I’d make it this far – that I’d have surely been
working by now. Go figure, now I’m wondering if I’ll be working before it ends!
I’ve never been on unemployment before. Doing a lot of temp
and consulting gigs over the years, there were times in my adult life where I
desperately needed the option. Unfortunately, when you leave them or work is
slow between jobs, you generally can’t get on unemployment. There was a time in
my late 20s where I nearly zeroed out my accounts, which was frightening. I
think it was from that point forward that I made a vow to get away from more “creative”
industries and find work “where the money was” – or at least more stability. If
you did a chart of my earnings and savings since then, you’d see a gently
ascending line to a much higher point than that late 20s low point.
What bothers me most? The unemployment rate is as low as
it’s ever been in my lifetime. What they don’t tell you: that still doesn’t
mean people who hate their jobs aren’t putting in applications for other
positions in droves. (I would wager the low unemployent rate encourages them to find work, knowing they don't have to cling to their jobs.) I thought, near 3% unemployment? I’ll have a job in no
time. For the few dozen applications I’ve filed, I’ve received about seven or
eight responses, none of them leading to a job. That’s a huge problem with
social-media sites. Your resume is one of dozens, sometimes hundreds, coming in
for a position, and there’s just so much you can do with a piece of paper. I’ve
listed out my dozens of skills, dozens of years of employment, over a decade at
last job … and it feels like I’m pissing in the wind some days.
I had to visit with a counselor at an employment center in
Flushing, Queens back in early December. Her take on me: “Ah, that level of
experience, all the skills you have. These are things employers find highly
valuable.”’ I just smiled and nodded but in the back of my mind was thinking, “If
I had a dime for every time I’ve seen a flashy bullshit artist hired instead of
someone who knew what he was doing, I’d be retired by now.”
Grand jury duty in November proved a huge impediment. It
took up a month of my life when I could have been charging out of the gate,
looking for work. I went ahead and filed the minimum “three applications per
week” to get my unemployment benefits, knowing that I was way too pre-occupied
to handle looking hard for work. When I got out in early December, I was exhausted. My attitude
was, end of year, how many people really are hiring in December, just ride it
out through Christmas and start bearing down in January.
First week of January, I get an email from a major bank
telling me that since I haven’t replied to their emails, I’m no longer in
consideration for a position. Huh? This was the first time they contacted me. I then looked in my Spam folder in Gmail
(which is normally not visible) to see that, sure enough, I had received three
robo-emails from their HR Department over Christmas week asking me to fill out
a more detailed application and take a test. (Word of advice to HR Departments:
stop using robo-emails to contact job applicants. I can only imagine how many
other people are getting jammed in similar scenarios.)
That started a flurry of activity, and since then, I’ve had
about “once a week” interactions with places I’ve applied to, even a home
interview I did with the camera on my phone answering pre-screened questions,
but nothing resulting in employment. It’s discouraging to have this much
experience, not demanding a huge salary, and feel like I’m looking for work in
a void. I suspect most people looking for work are going through the same
process. Most likely, the world will not be beating down your door, no matter
what your experiences and accomplishments are.
Getting paid a reasonable amount of money weekly on
unemployment certainly helps. I’ve been losing money, albeit very slowly. I
saved up a ton of money (having a nine-month lead in from notification date to
the actual layoff date). I’ve dialed back my expenses and held off on big
purchases. Low rent has been key – without it, I’d be hemorrhaging money. As it
is, I’m about to get a healthy tax refund in the next few weeks. Money isn’t a
problem and won’t be for at least another three months.
One of the bigger problems is staying motivated. I can
handle the bits of rejection and mostly silence after filing applications. When
you’re a writer, rejection is part of the landscape; you either have faith in
your machine or spend a lot of time doubting yourself. Doubt will leave you
dead in the water, something I learned in my 20s. It’s simply the amount of
daily down time for months as opposed to having your personal life crammed into
the weekend. Unlike college, when I had free time with other like-minded
individuals, this is more like playing hooky as everyone I know is working!
Boxing has provided a crucial routine to follow. I’ve
realized that there are a series of late lunch-time boxing classes in my gym at
various Manhattan locations that I would normally never consider (due to taking
a two-hour lunch). They give me a sense of structure three days a week: doing
unemployment stuff in the morning, then boxing, then taking my time to ensure I
get back on the train after the asshole school kids afternoon rush (after 3:00
pm). It makes for a well-rounded day. Tuesday is the only hard day as I have my
normal 5:45 boxing class and tend to burn through the whole day in the
apartment to get there. Thursday, I’m in the habit of taking walks through
parts of the city I haven’t seen in years. I’ve had my mind blown by the Hudson
River Park, the Highline, Hudson Yards, Riverside Park, the northern paths of
Central Park, the Wall Street area, etc. My first decade here, I made it a
point to explore as much of the city as I could, and it doesn’t feel bad to do
so again.
Our lives are structured so that either you have no time at
all or too much. Unemployment past a month or two becomes too much down time.
At first, it helped me get out the second book as I used the few weeks between
the job ending and grand jury duty beginning to do some last-minute editing and
the leg work required with launching any book. But I’m not burning with ideas
to write another one yet. As history has shown me, when I’m not working/bringing
in money, I’m just not that inspired. A strange dichotomy – you would figure
I’d be bursting with ideas. But the times in my adult life when I wasn’t
working have been pre-occupied with worrying about working again. If I didn’t
have to worry about money? It would surely free up that part of my mind, but
I’ve never experienced that luxury.
I’m trying to avoid the inevitable – headhunters – but
another month or two of this may force me to contact them. The social-media
method feels like a bit of a mirage, all these jobs for the taking, just click
a button. That simplicity of just clicking a button should clue you in that
something so easy is going to invite overkill. People who aren’t qualified to
do the work but like the company. People with perfectly good, normal jobs who
have talked themselves into hating their workplace. And, of course, those of us
who need to find work, know what we’re doing, have the skills and experience to
prove it, but get lost in the shuffle.
So, it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be, but I should
have known. Nothing ever is.
